Monday, January 5, 2015

Passion Gave Me My Passion Back

This past weekend I attended a young adult conference in Atlanta, Georgia called Passion. Passion is a conference for college students between the ages of 18 & 25 and their leaders. Passion is an experience like no other. It is church services over and over again with 20,000 other Christians who have a love for God. This link will give you more information about Passion  http://268generation.com/passion2015/story/ So let's rewind all the way back to June. In June I went on a mission trip to Haiti. I was changed in Haiti and ready to do amazing things back home. My relationship with God was pretty good, but obviously like everyone's there were some things that could be improved. In August I went on a mission trip to Memphis, Tennessee. In case you didn't know, Memphis is one of the most crime-rated cities in the country. It is not like the Tennessee everyone knows. In Memphis God rocked my world some more and I was accepting it. I was pumped and ready to share the word. In the second week of August I started my first semester of my first year of college, and that is when distractions started pouring into my life and interfering with my relationship with God. College was the farthest thing from any type of walk in the park and I did not take it seriously. Note to every college student: TAKE IT SERIOUSLY! I had gotten extremely stressed out because I was not doing good. I was failing my Math class and struggling in my English class. I was not putting in the effort that I should have been and all of these distractions of stress made me forget about God. I was the furthest I've ever been from Him and I was fine with it. I was okay with settling down where I was and I had no motivation to fix it. I had no desire to lead worship. It was no longer a passion, but more like a side activity. Church became just a Sunday morning and Wednesday night thing. I put on the mask at church and pretended to be excited to be there. I was honest that I was struggling in school, but no one knew that I was so far from God. The stress caused me to have anger at my parents when they would bring school up because I was embarrassed and instead of being angry at myself, I took it out on them. I wasn't me anymore, but only I knew that because it isn't hard to put on a mask and hide. Soon the semester ended and man was I happy. I was relieved, and then people started posting their grades on social media and that made me feel like crap. "I got all A's" and "I aced my first semester of college" was all I saw. I felt ashamed and angry at myself. I was jealous that I couldn't be that person. Well with that dwelling inside I needed to get away, to get away from this negativity and all of the distractions. In the beginning of December my mom bought my ticket for Passion as my Christmas present. My church was going. I was excited because I knew that this would get me out of this slump. This past Friday we left for Atlanta at 12:30. I was yearning for that God moment because I hadn't felt a God moment in a while. Friday night was good, but I didn't have my God moment. Saturday morning, no God moment and Saturday afternoon, no God moment. I didn't have a God moment in worship Saturday night and I began to wonder if I made a mistake by coming. At the end of the message that night the speaker told us to just take some time to pray. We all bowed our heads and prayed. I began pouring out to God and I started to feel Him there. We prayed for a little while and as we were praying they started worship and they went in to Forever by Kari Jobe. I love this song and by that time I was done praying. I stood up to worship and as I was singing I felt God's overwhelming presence. I hadn't felt that in a while. Tears filled my eyes and I raised my hands and gave everything to God. I automatically felt the joy in my relationship that I had been yearning for for months. All I could do was smile and thank God because I got my God moment and I was renewed. If I would not have gone to Passion I would not be happy and I would not want to tell people about the gospel. I thank God for placing me where I was Saturday night. Don't let the distractions stop you from pursuing God. It is miserable and you aren't happy. When you keep your focus on God, He will help you succeed where it is needed.